Elizabeth’s story

Since age 12 I have struggled with my mental health. First, it showed as severe anorexia nervosa. I was transferred from hospital to treatment center and back again. For almost a full year, I was rotating through treatment centers, and after 9 treatment rounds, I recovered from my eating disorder. However, the lasting effects still stuck with me. During one of my eating disorder treatments, I had to be transferred to the psych ward of a nearby hospital due to my being unsafe and mentally unstable. I did not spend long there, and I went back to the eating disorder treatment center quickly. At this point, I was on multiple antidepressants and mood stabilizing medications. Once I was freed from my eating disorder, I spent 1 1/2 years battling the backlash from it. However, almost out of nowhere, things took a turn for the worse. I spent most of my days lying in my bed, numb from my pain, and wanting to end everything. I then started self-harming to try and release my pain. At that point, I could no longer function. I was giving up on myself. I had always had a strong faith, but I started doubting God. Doubting what His plans for me were. Then I hit my rock bottom. I was placed in another mental health hospital. As I lay in my empty concrete room, a nurse came in and gave me a pair of radio-connected headphones. I turned them on, trying to figure out how they worked, and after a while of fiddling, I turned on KTIS. I had always heard of “right song at the right time,” but I had never experienced it to this magnitude. When I switched on to KTIS, the beginning notes of Katy Nichole’s “When I Fall” started playing. “Lord, I can’t find You right now, and everything is crashin’ down.” “How long will I have to fight just for me to stay alive? I know You’re there, God, please just meet me here tonight.” “My God, I’m tired of tryna be okay, I’ve prayed all the prayers I have to pray, please don’t leave me lonely.” But then there was an uptick of hope: “I’ve tried, but I can’t let go ’cause God, You catch me when I fall, You catch me when I fall.” During this song, I cried out to God. I was at my lowest, but God was still holding on to me, and He wasn’t going to let go. In my weeping and praying to God in that concrete room, something shifted. A switch was flipped. I left that hospital that night because I knew that I could do it. I knew God would not let me go under, and I knew that I was strong enough to fight the darkness of the world and the devil’s temptation. Psalm 118:17-18 says, “I shall not die, but shall live and proclaim the goodness of God. The Lord has chastened me severely, but He has not given me over to death.” I am now doing better than ever before. I not only got out of the hospital, but I started living again. I am now the happiest I’ve ever been, surrounded by people who love me. I am now off almost all my medications. I have combated depression and anxiety, and I am so happy to say I am no longer self-harming or suicidal. I have no one to credit this to except the Lord my God and my family and friends who rallied around me during these tough times. KTIS quite possibly saved my life.